Grudge Match

Have you experienced a deep seated hurt or wrong? Are you holding on to a grudge?   If you are, then you may be experiencing feelings of depression and anxiety. Grudges can significantly impact your physical and mental well-being, even to the point of affecting personal relationships.  People rarely want to be around someone who is constantly negative and bitter.

The “grudge” becomes your identity, you are the person who was “wronged”.  You now are defined by your anger and victim-hood.  Identifying with your grudge is an attempt to receive the comfort and compassion you didn’t receive in the past.  The problem is a grudge is not born of the heart, but of the mind.  It then becomes nothing more than an object like a badge of honor that you “display” as proof of what you have suffered.  

As you replay the experience in your mind, your body will react as if you are continuously reliving the experience.  Your mind doesn’t know what is real or imagined.  This situation can put you in a chronic state of tension and stress, which can have a profound effect on your physical health.  If you are unable to let go of the resentment it can become like a poison, resulting in the development of headaches, skin conditions and high blood pressure which can lead to a stroke or a heart attack.

It is time to let go of the resentment. Here are some suggestions:

  • Forgiveness.   It will take some time, but try to let go of some of the hurt and anger each day.
  • Forgive yourself.  It is important to acknowledge that though others have hurt you, you have hurt other people too.
  • Acknowledge that you have a grudge and allow yourself to feel the pain, anger and sadness.
  • Avoid seeking comfort with loved ones.  They will feel protective and amplify your emotions.
  • Visualize letting go of your grudge through guided meditation.

Don’t be the “loser” of your “grudge match”.   Leave that old grudge behind by re-focusing your attention.  Once you let it go that’s when you will finally be able to find that compassion and comfort you have been seeking.

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